Article
#2: “Dating Divorce and Transitional Sex Partners".
The dating dilema. One of the most important steps
for divorced women in rebuilding their life after
divorce is to start dating. It’ll be hard for
you too, but the sooner you starting dating, the easier
it will be for you to regain your emotional wellbeing.
At first, even though you may have to force yourself,
you should just go out and associate with other people.
See for yourself that other people don't "immediately
recognize you" as a divorced woman, a loser or
a failure.
In
the course of recovering from a painful divorce, you
may also discover that it is not unusual for divorced
women to go through a number of brief sexual affairs.
See, there’s always an upside! With some, there's
a flurry of sexual activity, followed by periods of
celibacy - and maybe a "special steady"
for a while. This kind of activity is really sometimes
necessary, and definitely a part of the healing process
as some women rebuild their self-esteem.
Almost
all people who have gone through a divorce go through
at least one transitional partner during their healing
process. This is a person that seems to be the answer
to all your dreams. They're the "special boyfriends"
that ease a divorced woman through the trauma - they're
good to them; they listen to them; they're sensitive
to their needs but never demanding; and they fulfill
their sexual hunger.
It
's great to "find and use" such a transitional
partner, but be aware of your own situation and their
usefulness to you, and don't allow yourself to end
up marrying them. You may care about them a great
deal, and feel sure that they're the answer to all
your dreams - that they have all the love you could
ever ask for - but don't marry them - what you're
feeling is only the peace of an oasis in the middle
of a desert.
Oh,
and don't feel badly when eventually you break off
such a relationship. Some people are born to nurture
others back to good health, and seeing you on your
feet again, and on your way to real happiness is the
only reward these people really want. Then too, who's
to say that you won't someday be a transitional partner
for someone who's hurting just as you once did.
©
Barry J. Roche
The
following two divorce articles are more "Food
For Thought" than articles as such. Remember
to keep your sense of humour and you're halfway home
.... and if don't have one, the sooner you develop
one the better you'll be able to cope! The second
divorce article are words of wisdom that remind us
just how important our "Sisters" are in
the journey of life.
Article
# 4: “Men Are Like”.
MEN
ARE LIKE .....................
1. Men
are like Laxatives .... They irritate the shit out
of you.
2.
Men are like Bananas .... The older they get, the
less firm they are.
3.
Men are like Weather .. Nothing can be done to change
them..
4.
Men are like Blenders .. You need one, but you're
not quite sure why.
5.
Men are like Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, &
they usually head right for your hips.
6.
Men are like Commercials .... You can't believe a
word they say.
7.
Men are like Department Stores .. Their clothes are
always 1/2 off.
8.
Men are like Government Bonds .. They take soooooooo
long to mature.
9.
Men are like Mascara .... They usually run at the
first sign of emotion.
10.
Men are like Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only
for a little while.
11.
Men are like Snowstorms. You never know if they're
coming, how many inches you'll get or if it will last.
12.
Men are like ..... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at,
but not very bright.
13. Men are like ..... Parking Spots . All the good
ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Article
# 5: “Sisters”.
A young wife sat on a sofa on
a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with
her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage,
about the responsibilities of life and the obligations
of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in
her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance
upon her daughter.
"Don't forget your Sisters," she advised,
swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass."
They'll be more important as you get older. No matter
how much you love your husband, no matter how much
you love the children you may have, you are still
going to need Sisters.
Remember to go places with them now and then; do things
with them. And remember that "Sisters" also
means your girlfriends, your daughters, and other
women relatives too. You'll need other women. Women
always do."
"What a funny piece of advice!" the young
woman thought. "Haven't I just gotten married?
Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a
married woman, for goodness sake! A grown-up. Surely
my husband and the family we may start will be all
I need to make my life worthwhile!: But she listened
to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and
made more women friends each year.
As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually
came to understand that her Mom really knew what she
was talking about. As time and nature work their changes
and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the
mainstays of her life.
After almost 50 years of living in this world, here
is what I've learned:
Times passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Love waxes and wanes.
Hearts break.
Careers end.
Jobs come and go.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Men don't call when they say they will.
BUT Sisters are there, no matter how much time and
how many miles are between you. A Sister is never
farther away than needing her can reach. When you
have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to
walk it for yourself, your Sisters will be on the
valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling
for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with
open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will
even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come
in and carry you out. My mother, sister, sister-in-laws,
aunts, and "girlfriends", bless my life!
The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither
would I.
When we began this adventure called womanhood, we
had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that
lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need
each other. Everyday, we need each other still.
Stay in touch with the women who help make your life
work!
Other
Relevant Articles
What
is the ALIMONY FORMULA in a divorce?
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and you should consult an attorney for specific legal
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