You
know the old saying - If you are asking yourself
the question "Is my husband cheating?",
he probably is. Around 60% of married men and somewhere
between 16% and 40% (personally, we think it's closer
to 16%) of married women are now having their own
affairs.
When
it comes to cheating partners, men often have extra-marital
relationships for different reasons to women. With
cheating husbands, it seems to be more about ego and
the excitement of an illicit liason. With women, it's
often due to neglect by their spouse as contrasted
by the allure, attention and excitement offered by
a lover. This would explain why when a woman is having
an affair, she tends to have more of a "glow"
about her!
How do you know if your husband is having an affair?
Cheating husbands usually go to great lengths to lie
about their activities and are careful about keeping
their extra-marital affair a secret. Before you go
accusing your spouse of cheating, you better have
proof as the general attitude of a cheating husband
is simply to deny the allegations.
Cheating
husbands usually share similar profiles and so you
should look for tell tale signs to help you determine
if your partner is cheating on you. Do not confront
the cheater until you have the proof you need, as
this will only cause them to clean up their act and
make it more difficult for you to catch them.
SIGNS
YOUR HUSBAND IS CHEATING:
|
Cheating
husbands will usually display significant changes
in their grooming habits. Examples of this would
be changing aftershaves, joining the gym, getting
a new hairstyle, frequent bathing and buying
new underwear. |
|
Your
husband working back late in the office or suddenly
having to be away on "work" trips
more often. Of
course, if your spouse's paychecks don't reflect
all this extra work, then it might be time to
monitor the situation to see if there is any
pattern emerging (eg. keeping track of the mileage
on the car, the time he leaves for work and
the time when he comes home). You may discover,
by accident, that he took time away from work
but never mentioned it to you. |
|
Signs
your husband is cheating can include a drop
off in the amount of money going into the bank.
When a man is having an affair, it usually costs
him money. You know what we mean - flowers,
wining & dining, romantic gifts, dirty weekends
away (on the pretext of work) - money he should
be spending on you! Keep an eye on whether he
is spending more money than usual by checking
his bank statements and account balances, his
check stubs, credit card bills and so on. |
|
Cell
phones are a common way for cheating husbands
to communicate with their lovers. Suspicious
behaviour could include your partner buying
a separate cell phone and setting up a separate
phone account (that is billed to his office),
without telling you. Even if your husband or
partner doesn't have a separate cell phone,
an itemised bill of calls made might prove illuminating
(e.g. whether a certain number has been called
frequently. Another tell-tale sign can be the
deliberate deletion by him of all incoming phone
calls from the caller ID! |
|
Home
telephone calls, particularly incoming calls
where he uses a low voice or hangs up quickly,
may be a clue. Going out on the balcony to make
or receive calls out of earshot may also raise
your suspicions. |
|
Other
signs that husband is having an affair may have
a change in sex life. For example, cheating
husbands will often stop having sex with their
wife or they suddenly wants sex more often,
as well as out-of-character sexual requests.
Take the opportunity to check out those unexplained
bruises on your husband's neck or those scratches
on his back while you're there! |
|
There
will be a definite change in your husband or
partner's attitude to you and the home generally.
With the children and activities around the
house, he is likely to be less interested than
usual. With you, he may stop confiding in you
or seeking your opinion. Worse still, he may
be prone to being more accusatory, irritable
and easily moved to anger. He may tend to pick
fights with you as an excuse for stomping out
of the house! Any atypical, erratic behavior
can be a sign that something's going on. At
the beginning of an affair he may actually be
more attentive than usual but as time goes on,
this wears off and his tendency will be to find
fault with you to try to justify having an affair
in his mind. |
|
Of
course, there are the obvious tell-tale signs
such as lipstick on his collar or the smell
of an unfamiliar perfume on his body (or his
clothes). The wedding ring in the back pocket
of his trousers is usually a dead giveaway!
What about those small, unexplained gift items?
Who's thong is that? If he shows an uncharacteristic
desire to be helpful with the laundry, check
his underwear for secretion stains! While you're
at it, check his wallet, pockets and the glove
compartment of his car for condoms, unexplained
receipts and pieces of paper with addresses
or phone numbers on them. |
|
Certain
activity on the computer/internet is often a
big warning sign, particularly if he spends
a lot of time on the computer after you have
gone to bed! Email is also a common method of
communication and cheaters will often delete
all incoming e-mails and outgoing emails to
avoid detection. He may even have set up a new
e-mail account without telling you anything
about it. |
|
If
your Intuition or gut feeling is that something
is not right, then this is often the best signs
husband is having an affair. When in doubt -
check out these gut feelings! |
Of course, there
are numerous other signs husband is having an affair.
The
Internet has made it easy for people to be tempted.
Virtually anyone can jump on the net, join a chat
group and very quickly find someone to play with.
There are thousands of online websites solely dedicated
to married men and women who are LOOKING to have an
affair! There is also a direct correlation between
the Internet and the ever-increasing incidence of
marriage breakdown.
For
women who discover that their husbands have been cheating
on them, it can be devastating. They never really
thought that infidelity could happen in their relationship.
Finding out that your "significant other"
has been cheating on you, via the Internet, email,
chat software and webcamming can be a real shock.
This "online infidelity" can often be going
on right under your nose AND in your own home! If
you suspect that this could be happening to you, don't
get mad ......Get the evidence, then go from there.
SO
HOW DO YOU CATCH A CHEATING HUSBAND?
There
is only one way to put an end to your hurting, your
suspicions, your doubt, worry, and anger… that
is, you need to investigate and get the evidence to
show that your husband is having an affair or he isn't.
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Just
one final thing. It may sound odd but an extra-marital
affair does not necessarily spell the end to a marriage.
In quite a lot of cases, the parties examined why
the affair occurred and made changes in their lives
and are still together to this very day. So, even
when you do get the evidence, you will then need to
consider whether there is anything you could have
done (or should have done) to ensure that your marriage
came first!